Start with Consistency — the Foundation of Holiday Ease

Consistency isn’t about rigidity — it’s about preserving the parts of the day that help your child feel grounded. Holidays often disrupt school schedules, mealtime rhythms, therapy sessions, and bedtime routines. Understanding this ahead of time gives you a roadmap.

What consistency can look like:

• Keeping morning or bedtime routines the same
• Having meals at familiar times
• Sticking with the same snack, coping, or reinforcement systems
• Letting your child know in advance when things will differ

Small pockets of predictability can make big events feel far more manageable.

Communicate Early, Often, and Visually

Talking with your child, not just at them, is one of the most powerful tools for preparing for a holiday or event.

Use Visual Supports

Visual schedules, picture calendars, or social stories help outline:

• Who will be there
• What the event will look like
• What activities might happen
• When breaks are allowed

These tools transform the unknown into the familiar.

“What feels small to us — a new decoration, a different route home — can feel huge to a child whose sense of predictability is foundational.”

Resource Highlight:
The Duke Center for Autism and Brain Development offers a fantastic Travel Toolkit with editable social narratives and schedules for children with ASD. You can access that here!

Support Sensory Needs Before They Become Overwhelming

Holiday environments bring a mix of sights, sounds, smells, and activity levels — all potentially overstimulating.

“Speak with your child about holidays and traditions, instead of at your child. Preparation and communication can do wonders.”

Proactive Sensory Supports

• Introduce new decorations slowly
• Use dimmable lights or avoid flashing decorations
• Bring headphones, fidgets, weighted lap pads, or sunglasses
• Identify a “quiet corner” in any setting
• Seek out sensory-friendly holiday events in your community

Large Gatherings — Plan, Equip, and Advocate

Family events can be wonderful but intense. Preparation makes all the difference.

Before You Go

• Preview the menu with your child. Plan/prep the meal ahead. There may be a special diet for children/others that you need to consider. Take this time to involve your child as well. “It’s always a fun time to bake or make cookies. Your child will feel that they are an important part of the process, and you can take this opportunity to set up expectations of what’s to come,” shared Sumita. Another way to include others is making “grab bags” and bringing special snacks for your child/others to large gatherings/events. You can also share the menu with others/children in advance.
• Designate a non-stimulatory room - If you can/are able to, designate an area of the event that will be a calming presence where a child can go and decompress without stimulation. Some items/activities can include weighted blankets, large pillows, or fidget toys.
• Bring familiar foods, toys, or sensory supports
• Explain expectations in short, clear steps
• Familiarize your child with friends and family members before the event - Provide your child with pictures of family/friends before the gathering to give them the opportunity to know who will be at the event. You can prepare a photo album and occasionally share that with the child.
• Let relatives know any boundaries:
• “Please offer hugs only if they want one.”
• “Loud cheering may be overwhelming.”

The needs of a child on the spectrum are diverse. They may not like to be touched, may have difficulty with social situations, or have limited ability to communicate. Let others attending know about what these special needs may be. Importantly, be an advocate for your child when they are unable. If, for example, they are not comfortable giving/getting hugs from others, do not be afraid to voice this to others. It is also an excellent opportunity to discuss consent and personal autonomy with your child.

During the Event

• Arrive early — fewer people, less chaos
• Bring activities/reinforcers with you to the gathering - You can bring a bag with you that is filled with reinforcing toys/activities or sensory regulatory stimuli. Some examples can include: Picasso tiles, slime, putty, play-dough. Bring enough so you are not using the same activity for the entire duration of the event. This will help keep the attention of the child.
• Step out for breaks when needed
• Don’t hesitate to leave early
• Celebrate small wins, not perfect behavior

“Your child’s needs aren’t inconveniences — they’re guideposts. Advocate with confidence.”

Additional Considerations

• Use caution with gifts - If you’re nearing a holiday where a toy will be given, use caution to not use the gifting of the toy as a reinforcer. A child may begin to perseverate (to focus exclusively) on the toy and lose focus on the event itself. Additionally, the length of time also serves as a diminished reinforcer. “I love a good piece of Portillo’s Chocolate cake,” shared Sumita, “but if you tell me I have to wait a whole month before you’re going to give it to me, I’m going to be a lot less motivated.” Instead, consider redirecting your child and reiterate that gifts are for fun and not necessarily for any type of behavior. Again, the length of time is what is key here between action and reward.
  
• Decorations - Often times we will add things to a house to make festivities come alive. Speak with your child about any favorite decorations they may have, add decorations slowly, don’t miss out on this opportunity to include your child in the process wherever possible. A great way to make decorations inclusive can include homemade decorations if your child is able.
• General Sensory Changes - Holiday’s often bring with it loud noises, bright lights, new smells, and large crowds. Sometimes, an event may not be the best to attend, and in those cases there are almost always alternatives. When searching for events look for keywords that indicate that they are sensory friendly or speak to your care team who often is aware of local area organizations and or events.
• Sounds - If your child is sensitive to sounds, consider bringing a pair of headphones they’ve helped decorate with stickers of their favorite character(s).
• Lights - If sensitive to lights, consider visors, hats, or sunglasses that allow for the stimulus to be diminished.

In all cases, involving your child in preparation and planning (including picking out the tool they will use to help them better manage their experience) builds their own coping repertoire and should make the event more enjoyable for them.

Holiday Travel — Structure + Flexibility = Success

Travel introduces new routines, environments, and transitions. A little planning goes a long way.

Top Travel Tips

• Keep schedules light — don’t overfill the day
• Bring a portable visual schedule
• Pack familiar snacks, comfort items, and a “calm kit”
• Maintain token boards or reward systems
• Use countdown timers to help with transitions
• Build in downtime after big activities

Resource Highlight:

Autism Research Institute offers additional materials for holiday social stories, online recipes and candy guide, coping strategies, among other resources here!

Self-Compassion for Caregivers — Because You Deserve Support, Too

Let’s normalize reality: holidays are busy, school breaks disrupt routines, and therapy schedules shift. Some days will feel messy — and that’s completely okay.

“If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. There’s always plenty of time to make up for hard days.”

You’re not aiming for perfect. You’re aiming for possible, and that’s more than enough.

Build the Holiday Mindset Year-Round

Holiday success doesn’t happen in one week — it’s shaped throughout the year.

Year-Round Strategies

• Introduce small changes monthly
• Practise flexibility in low-stakes moments
• Reflect after each holiday:
• What worked well?
• What was stressful?
• What can we do differently next year?
• Collaborate with your ABA team before school breaks
• Ask about maintaining routines
• Plan skill-building activities
• Discuss reinforcer strategies or transition supports

Join our Vilij!

We've spent a lot of time working with families to identify what works for their family and what doesn't. When we listen to your child and your family, we find solutions so that everyone can enjoy more inclusive and meaningful time together. We would be honored to work with your family if given the opportunity. If you’re ready to learn more, reach out to a member of our team at our contact page here!

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